Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Guzt 63/365

My soul mate for a season. When I got locked out of the house that time, we sat outside swatting mosquitoes all night. Turns out The Rumor Mill generated a doozy out of that one. Miss your face.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Problem Child 62/365

Pharaoh of your own world.
You’re a man, with responsibilities. Yes, we know.
Not only are you busy doing your work,
but you are also busy doing your wife’s work, too,
even though she’s the better student.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Lyndon McGee 61/365

"Most likely, not exactly."
After several months of trying to figure you out,
I asked your friends, “Can you understand him or is it just me?”
They cracked up laughing.
Wasn’t that you’re Liberian;
You’re just weird.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Kim Kasch 60/365

In Mrs. Perks’ second grade class, we huddled together to record in our writing “logs” that we had seen a “moov-e”. Neither of us could figure out how to spell movie. Moov + e = moove? Yes!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Roger Quick 59/365

You were the fastest runner in grade school.
Kiss Tag was invented so we could chase you.
Yours were the first sparkling blue eyes I’d ever seen.
Someone told me you died in high school—drunk driving?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Mrs. Zini 58/365

Taught me diamante poems and sentence diagramming,
Which I loved in equal measure.
Worked your road trip into the curriculum.
My life was falling apart,
But my brain was starting to come together
And words were the glue.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Don K. 57/365

Kelly’s dad.
But I thought it was funny that someone as small as you could be a dad.
You looked like Kenny Loggins
You used to zip up and down the road in your little blue Corvette.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Brett 56/365

The Prince of Organized, The King of Methodical, The Duke of Disciplined. I knew I would like working with you right away. We balance each other and make a great team. Please get out of there soon.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

G. Laine 55/365

Harold!? Hoh, dear!
Oh, come on, Furny…!
And I thought, well that’s scriptural.
Cookie Monster!
No, no, don’t do that to me.
I’m taking the kids.
Go now, I must see you again.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Louise 54/365

Exhibited completely inappropriate boundaries in your position, harping quarterly, monthly, weekly about parking, toileting practices and the necessity of undergarments for women. You were scary because you were unpredictable. You are much happier and saner elsewhere now.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Y__ X__ 53/365

“What does your name mean?” I asked,
Expecting to hear something like Graceful Flower or Clever Warrior.
But you said it means something like,
“Maybe the next one will be a boy.”
Shit, really? What the fuck?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Demon-anthy 52/365

You believed every lie SPL 7 told you about us, didn’t you?
You told us in no uncertain terms that this is now a top down system.
Do you have fun emailing in your little corner all alone?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

SPL 7 51/365

What pleasure can you possibly take in dismantling what was an amazing program again and again? Why don’t they notice the talent running from you screaming? What are you doing with all that money? Just a question.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

MMM 50/365

I can understand you being a free spirit and all, whatever, to each his own.
But, you know, don’t father a child, school her in the ways of pot smoking for preschoolers and skip out. That sucks.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Djimet 49/365

So tall and black and damn handsome in your grande boubou. You’re the picture of West African Everyman. Can’t imagine the life you’ve lived, the danger and fear you’ve known. So glad your family’s with you now.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Other Joe 48/365

Look like a skinny, hip old man.
Went overseas, came back married with a pregnant wife.
She just wanted a visa?
She got a job at Ikea. You got a beautiful son.
Happy? You don’t look it.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Joe D. 47/365

Our very own Gordon Sumner—same age, same look, so calm and healthy. You walk and bus everywhere. I love your example. How many languages do you speak? English, Arabic, Somali, Spanish, French—and there are more.

Friday, February 15, 2008

TD 46/365

SPL 7’s little yes man, have you no self respect? Stand up. Say no for once. You could be beautiful if you said yes to yourself. Instead you are old, tired and pasty faced and not even thirty-five.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Lucy 45/365

I’d love to see you happy and rested.
You’re working on it, I know.
These are not your best years, I’m guessing.
Hope I know you again when things are better.
Jeez, am I a fair-weather friend?

Marsha 44/365

Beautiful in every way—red hair, stylish clothes, tender heart. I love that you get sick when you travel because you can’t stop eating the food and drinking the water. Tell me a story. I’m all ears.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Michael K 43/365

Dress like a Mormon missionary every day.
Do as little as possible.
Don’t seem to care.
Study Persian, now Turkish you say,
Three out of eight hours a day.
Nice. Why do you still have a job?

Monday, February 11, 2008

James 42/365

Why can’t you see how beautiful you are with those amazing blue eyes, chic hair and clothes? Smart, funny, such a great husband, father, friend. Good you’re not cocky, but wish you could see what we see.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Scott 41/365

Foolishly I challenged you to a rubber band fight.
I threw a small fit about the injustices of being left handed in a right-handed world.
Next day you gave me The Left Hander’s Handbook.
Thanks for listening.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Richard 40/365

How’s your friend Wei?
"Wei? Ni how? Ni how ma. Ha, ha…ha, ha. Xien, xien. Tsai chien."
Love that we can talk about teaching, dance, language, food and God all on any given day. You get me.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Robin (damn you) 39/365

Poor soul with the misfortune to answer the phone when the police called.
I was laughing with some friends when you asked me to follow you into the bathroom.
“Karin, I’m sorry, but your mother has died.”

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Wanton Mandela (Call Center President) 38/365

“I got this email from a Sam. Who's Sam?"
“Sam...You know, Souhail.”
“You changed his name and his email account?
Look, if you can say his name, then use it, you fucking ignorant xenophobe [emphasis mine].”

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Pat Ch. 37/365

CEO. Mumbled something about Secretary’s Day, then did nothing about it. Worked for you for two years. You gave me nothing but tiny paychecks and mountains of filing in the computer age because you don’t trust computers.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

John 36/365

You ate a ham sandwich (your daily portion of meat) on white bread every single day, always remained calm because of your daily workouts. I thought you were crazy for practically being a vegetarian. “Not even chicken?”

Monday, February 4, 2008

Steve H. 35/365

"Job title?"
“Assistant Controller.”
I guffawed, cackled, “Not you. Your job.”
You looked at me with that are-you-still-here look
and I went away feeling so much better because
I left before you said, “Are you still talking?”

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Forrest 34/365

Played with my Sally doll in the back dash of your mother’s car.
Forgot it there when you moved.

Never saw my Sally doll again.
I was heart broken.
Mom said we could visit.
We never did.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Amy W. 33/365

Never laughed so hard as I did with you.
Chipped my tooth on a Coke bottle guffawing with you.
Your handwriting was perfect. Your mind was brilliant—genius IQ.
Your dad moved you to Perth. : (

Friday, February 1, 2008

Fanta 32/365

I choked on a slow fat fly in front of your 7th grade Geography class. After I finally managed to spit it out, everyone sat in stunned silence until you said, “Miss, you know flies eat poop?!”

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Ousmane W. 31/365

You really didn’t seem married when we started up.
It couldn’t have been more wrong for us to be together.
I was supposed to be turning your Muslim soul to Christ.
You were turning me into a woman.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Kelly K. 30/365

You were short, fast and mean.
Favorite color was Kelly Green.
“Wanna come over and play? You can pick the game.”
“Okay. Trouble?”
“No, Monopoly.”
You became a recluse when you hit and killed someone in college.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Cassie 29/365

“I didn’t see you at Alvin’s funeral. I thought if anybody, you’d be there.”

“His, his what?”

“You didn’t know? Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”

“What happened?”

He was crushed by a giant roll of newspaper print.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Alvin 28/365

My first. You screwed me over and screwed me up so that I’ll never be the same again.
What a shock when you said you went through therapy about it.
Thanks for reconciling with me—a rare gift.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Jason L. 27/365

When we were four, you paused a game of chase to take a leak right there.
"Can I see your thingy?...And touch it?"
And you said, "Yes."

“Oh, it’s spongy.”
Then back to our game of chase.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Derek 26/365

You were such a nice boy. Super polite and on some committee that planned all the dances so you were always the first one to ask me. I had to find clever ways to turn you down.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Miss Barelski 25/365

Dreamy first grade story time.

"Gotta crawl, gotta crawl, gotta crawl
To the Ugly Bug Ball, to the ball, to the ball.
What a happy time we’ll have there
One and all at the Ugly Bug Ball!”

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mrs. Perks 24/365

Second grade, yarn-haired pumpkin, chrysalis, long frizzy hair, colored chalk with which you spelled of “uv” to see if we’d catch it. You remembered me twenty years later at my nephew’s party. You looked just the same.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Chris D. 23/365

Buck teeth, blue eyes, wavy blond hair.
"Batter, batter, batter, suh-wing batter!"
Memorized "whether ‘tis suffer the slings and arrows…"
Mr. Albright never asked if the girls wanted to try. Feminism hadn’t hit our small town.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Bryan H 21/365

“Amy, when are Chris&Bryan coming over?” “Chris&Bryan are coming over at 9 o’clock.” “But when’s Bryan coming over?” “Chris and Bryan are coming over at 9 o’clock.” “Yeah, but...” Mt. Dew-guzzling Mormon boy. Married with children, bald.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Chris M. 20/365

“Amy, when are Chris&Bryan coming over?” “Chris&Bryan are coming over at 9 o’clock.” “But when’s Bryan coming over?” “Chris and Bryan are coming over at 9 o’clock.” “Yeah, but...” Mt. Dew-guzzling Mormon boy. Now you’re a cop.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Penny 19/365

Told me to throw out my Tears for Fears album, The Seeds of Love, because the cover was covered with evil images of other religions, but the music spoke to my soul and my soul said, “No!”

Friday, January 18, 2008

Mr. Maloney 18/365

"Clean fingernails? Combed hair?"
Wore mod bell bottoms, skinny turtlenecks.
If we were good, you’d play guitar on Fridays, let us sing.
We must’ve always been good.
Maybe you liked singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Michael Deo 17/365

You made kindergarten.

Waltzed in my grandmother’s kitchen.
Played with the tiny wooden black Lab.

Your house had a miniature pretend toaster.
We played house.

So grown up and serious,
While the grown ups talked about nothing.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Willy Watts 16/365

First grade, first love, first kiss.
You smelled so good, like a boy.
So dreamy, that sweet smell never to be found again.
Fourth grade, first couples skate.
Sixth grade, TV kissing down by the frozen creek.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Jeremy B. 15/365

I fell so hard for you. I had it bad. We were the A-Team. You were Ace. I was—the girl. Watched Risky Business, then tried some of it. I was never afraid of anything with you.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Ceasar (SESS-are) Payne 14/365

African American Whitman College guy they held the plane for.
I said, “There you are. Saved you a seat.”

We talked the whole way--through snacks, drinks, dinner and Ghost.
You should have seen our folks’ faces.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Dusty 13/365

Pint-sized gymnast with killer abs. Who, besides you, ever believed you’d marry my best friend after a twenty-year crush? You treat her like a princess, which is nice to see. Hurt her and I’ll whoop your ass.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Amy F. 12/365

Onion Amy.
My b-b-b-very-good friend.
My momma’s chocolate baby.
First drink, first joint.
Would never have made it through HS without you.
Thanks for putting up with my Jesus years.
Was not in your wedding—crushed me.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Randy S. 11/365

Knew you were gay in high school.
Just a fact.
Preacher’s son. Piano prodigy.
At FM yesterday
Was pretty clear
You are out and
You probably assumed
I’m still closed minded.
But I’m happy for you.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mr. Schaub 10x365

How did I not know you were gay? All HS Drama teachers who live with their “friend” in Portland are gay. Missed your memorial service. Did they think I would judge you? I don’t know, but damn.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Paul C. 9/365

Of Tom ‘n Paul. Di Janeiro Joe, amazing cartoonist, piano player. I didn’t think you were cute enough or cool enough. I should’ve fallen for you on raw talent alone. I was such a dork. ack phifft.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Christopher 8/365

Very blonde kid in math class
Dedicated REO Speedwagon songs to me
Asked me out
I said no
Committed suicide
Was sure it was my fault
"A 'garage' accident."
His parents didn’t want to believe the truth.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Mr. Nichols 7/365

Coke bottle glasses.
Sat backwards in a student desk.

"Did you have an orgy this weekend? Look it up."

Drank cough syrup from a bottle in a paper bag at your desk.
You taught me to think.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Mr. Spanish Teacher 6/365

Held the lunch room door open for me.

“Gracias,” my only Spanish word.

He said, “De nada.”

I said, “Huh?”

He explained.

Hottest teacher in school. Everybody liked him.
He committed suicide. They say he shot himself.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Mr. Ball 5/365

Worst math teacher ever. Tall, slouching, balding, with a nasal voice, brown polyester in the neon 80’s. Bueller. Bueller. The nastiest comb over ever. Mr. Ball. Dick Ball. What 14 year old could possibly take you seriously?

Friday, January 4, 2008

Mr. Huserik 4/365

Best math teacher ever. Tall, slouching, balding, with red mustache and a nasal voice. Funny as hell. Called me Stanley. Such a methodical mind. Wish it were mine. Wanted it all to make so much sense, but it never did.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Mr. Gingerich 3/365

I was sure you were old because of the way you talked about the new hair growing out of your ears instead of from the top of your head, but really you were only my age. You made all the boys mad and all the girls cry and all of us better singers and musicians for it. Thank you for teaching us music theory every single year and turning us on to Amadeus. And for trusting me, pushing me with Dolly. You knew I would love her and I did.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Tom S. 2/365

"Nicely passing out the citrus." Best actor/singer/enigma. I was always trying to break through that shell to get to that gooey inside, but you never cracked. Always a pleasure working with you. I hear you’re still around.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Greg H. 1/365

My first friend at Ackerman Jr. High, my first boyfriend after The Move. We never kissed, though, because the other Karen, with an “e”, told me not to be friends with you because you were a geek. I was never friends with her, but dummy me, I broke up with you anyway. You were too smart and too lanky and all our moms loved you. They saw what we couldn’t, that you were a catch and that two years out of high school you’d grow into yourself and look like Tom Cruise.